MOVIE: The Cabin, aka Bloodline (2013)

US 2013 (copyrighted 2011), Osiris/Oasis, 88m

DVD: 101 Films (UK), Cert 18 

In the 18th century, a group of American settlers are cursed by a Shaman for killing one of his family. 250 years later, a trainee for the priesthood questions his faith. He heads with some friends to his family's remote cabin, in order to reflect on his position. However, he discovers his link to the earlier atrocity has placed him and his friends in danger...


Another week, another cabin movie. Group of friends head to middle of nowhere. Car breaks down. Slightly threatening authority figure gives "you kids should have stayed away from here" type speech. Overweight "comedy relief" character annoys the hell out of anyone watching. You know the drill.

In this case, everything starts off interestingly enough, with a flashback sequence which shows the events which led to the prospective preacher's family getting cursed, but after that things grind to a virtual halt and take the best part of an hour to pick up again.

A muddled screenplay seems to be the main culprit, since it doesn't seem able to make up its mind whether to follow the conventions of a cabin-horror to the letter or to aim for something a bit more leftfield. Ultimately, neither element gets a chance to engage, and the end result doesn't make a lot of sense.

Ideas/threads appear then disappear without any real explanation. A dog who may/may not be something to do with the whole thing slips in and out of proceedings as if they're randomly wandering on to the set, whilst a Native American who gives the impression of being an important character seems to stumble in equally randomly.

Bloodline (to give it its proper title) certainly looks good on the screen in terms of photography, but that's nowhere near enough to compensate for its narrative deficiencies, and you're left with the nagging feeling that this was just a rewrite or two away from actually being pretty good.

MOVIE: Chastity Bites (2013)

US 2013, 89m, Cert 15 (UK)
Weirdsmobile Productions

VOD/DVD: Safecracker Pictures (UK)

Student and aspiring journalist Leah (Allison Scagliotti) is looking for the scoop which will kick start her career. She certainly gets it when the mysterious Liz Batho (Louise Griffiths) takes up a position at the college, and forms the Virginity Action Group (VAG), which promotes chastity among the female pupils. However, Batho has an ulterior motive - her real name is Countess Elizabeth Bathory, and she has a track record for bathing in the blood of virgins to prolong her life...


Comedy-horror is a very easy genre to screw up, but John V. Knowles (directing his first feature) mostly hits the right buttons, keeps things moving and manages to pull off some effective horror moments as well. The screenplay by wife Lotti magages to take some satirical potshots at popular culture and social cliques along the way, whilst also structuring itself as an endearingly old-school shocker. The comedy doesn't overwhelm the horror aspects of the film, which really helps it to work.

Griffiths makes for an enjoyable villainess, delivering her lines with plenty of relish on top, but it's also very much a group piece, with the cast all pulling their weight. The climax perhaps isn't as effective as it could have been, but that's a relatively minor gripe in a very enjoyable hour-and-a-half. If a vampire-slasher, with a touch of Heathers (1988) in the mix sounds like your thing, then Chastity Bites is recommended viewing.



Chastity Bites is available through UK video-on-demand from February 2nd 2015, with a DVD release scheduled for April.

 

MOVIE: Blood Glacier (2013)

aka Blutgletscher (original title)
aka The Station

Austria 2013, 98m, Cert 15 (UK)
Allegro Film/Filmfonds Wien/Filmstandort Austria

DVD: StudioCanal (UK)


A glacier in the Austrian Alps begins oozing a blood-like liquid. A group of scientists stationed there discover that it's having an adverse effect on the local wildlife. As strange mutations begin to come to life, a government minister and her party are hiking to the science base...


This is actually quite a pleasing throwback to some of the more ecologically-minded horror flicks of the 1970's, but with a heavy dose of genetic modification in the blend. I think I'm pretty safe in saying that this is the first film to feature a falcon with a mosquito-like stinger, or a fox crossed with a beetle. Director Marvin Kren leaves enough room for the audience to fill in some visual details themselves with some deft editing, which is wisely economical with creature close ups in the attack scenes and keeps them moving at a cracking pace.

Performances are solid all round, but I must make special mention of the director's mother, Brigitte Kren. As the minister, Bodicek, she demonstrates a gutsy ability to kick serious mutant butt. If she was standing in the Euro-elections, she'd get my vote...

The ending perhaps pushes incredulity just a tad too far, but overall this is entertaining stuff with a few interesting points to make as well. Think The Thing meets Day Of The Animals and Long Weekend, and you'll have a good idea of what to expect. For me, Blood Glacier is one of the most enjoyable horror flicks of the year.
 

MOVIES: In Brief (7th July 2014)

Barricade (2012, SES, 15) finds a widowed father and his two children stranded at a remote lodge in a severe blizzard, under attack from what may or may not be a malevolent force. It's not entirely clear, even at the end of the movie, whether the supernatural has had a hand in things, and you're not sure if it's been a shaggy dog story of sorts. However, it's very well acted and beautifully shot, with some effective moments. It wisely doesn't overstay its welcome either, at a slender 75 minutes. Flawed, but worth your time.

In Camp Dread (2014, Image Entertainment, 18), film producer Eric Roberts has a hidden agenda when he holds a reality show/contest where he shot a series of slasher flicks in the 80's, assisted by Sleepaway Camp's Felissa Rose. It's an interesting central idea, but the actual execution sadly leaves a lot to be desired - the script has holes big enough to drive a tank through, the continuity jumps haphazardly, and call me picky but I do like my slasher flicks to have a bit more actual slashing. When it does start kicking off, it all just falls a bit flat, as does the potentially effective twist near the end. A disappointment all round which squanders its leads - Roberts in particular looks like he would rather be somewhere, indeed anywhere else. Don't be fooled by Danielle Harris's billing, either - she's hardly in it. Camp Dreadful would be more apt, unfortunately.

Definitely with a feel of the 80's (in a good way, don't worry) is No One Lives (2012, Anchor Bay, 18), but it's also a refreshing blend of elements with the novel twist of a psychopath being a hero of sorts. This is the sort of oddball indie movie that Medusa Home Video would have picked up in a flash back in the day, albeit considerably slicker than most of their fare. Aided by some marvellously executed prosthetics, it sticks two fingers up at the usual generic CGI in favour of some gruesome effects you can get a more tangible grip on. It perhaps over eggs the pudding somewhat towards its climax, but overall this is a solid shocker with plenty of high octane action which aims for something different and, on the whole succeeds. Don't over analyse the logic and you're in for a fun time.

Mr Jones (2013, Anchor Bay, 15) has a couple seeking a year of solitude at a secluded cabin, only to stumble upon a mysterious maker of scarecrows who seems to be a malevoent Banksy, sending his works out into the art world seemingly randomly. Whilst not a great movie (far from it), I can't entirely dislike a film which tries something a little different with the camcorder-in-the-woods template, blending documentary/talking heads elements into the mix. It is at least bold in its intent and an occasionally engaging curio, but that shaky-cam is feeling seriously old hat these days. Still, in his first feature, director Karl Mueller shows plenty of technical talent and might be worth watching.

MOVIE: Cheap Thrills (2013)

US 2103, 88m, New Artists Alliance/Snowfort

UK distributor: Koch Media, Cert 15

Craig (Pat Healy) has a wife, young child and an eviction notice to worry about when he is laid off from his job. Seeking to drown his sorrows, he bumps into old friend Vince (Ethan Embry) in a bar. As they catch up with each other, they soon find themselves joined by Colin and Violet (David Koechner and Sara Paxton), a well to do couple who seem to have money to burn. What starts out as a series of dares by the pair for small amounts of cash seems relatively harmless. However, the dares become increasingly outrageous. As the ante keeps rising, both Craig and Vince begin to see a way out of their current financial predicaments. It becomes apparent that, given the right circumstances, people will indeed do anything for money...

What starts out deceptively feeling like a drunken-night-out comedy rapidly turns into something altogether darker. It could be taken on several levels really, perhaps as an allegory of sorts or a meditation on the wealthy expoiting the downtrodden, the affluent couple using their hapless quarry as mere playthings to relieve their evident boredom with their comfortable existence.

It's a thread which has a long lineage in the horror cinema, going all the way back to Richard Connell's oft-filmed The Most Dangerous Game (aka The Hounds Of Zaroff) from 1924, where a big-game hunter found himself the hunted, stalked by a bored millionaire for sport. This latest variation on the theme turns the concept in on itself, creating a claustrophobic piece in which, not only are the contestants in this bizarre contest in a confined space, they are also quite willing to be there. Tellingly, there is never any sign of any entrances to the couple's home (where things eventually end up) being locked.

You might alternately take it as a very black comedy. There's plenty going on in David Chirchirillo and Trent Haaga's screenplay, and it's a tribute to all the talents involved that it keeps several proverbial plates on the spin without dropping one. When Colin points out to his guests that its just like a reality TV show, he's unnervingly correct. Even the most cursory glance at todays TV schedules would suggest that we're but a short step from the antics of Cheap Thrills becoming next year's primetime entertainment. Scary indeed.

Cheap Thrills is neatly satirical, darkly humourous, thought provoking and extremely well acted. Don't be fooled by the 15 certificate, either. You may not see a hell of a lot graphically, but this is a film which is frequently cringe inducing and occasionally downright uncomfortable.

Making his directorial debut, E.L. Katz has done a fantastic job. It's most heartening to see such an intelligent indie horror/thriller get a half decent theatrical release in the UK. If it reaches your local multiplex, do check it out.

Cheap Thrills is currently on theatrical release in the UK, and is available on DVD/Blu-Ray on July 28th from Koch Media.



Original Theatrical Trailer:

MOVIES: In Brief (7th June 2014)

A quick round-up of a few movies which have recently come our way...

The Demented (2013) (Anchor Bay, Cert 15) sees fast moving zombies on the loose (again), this time in Louisiana as the result of a terrorist attack. In an already flooded market, this zombie flick doesn't really offer anything new which hasn't already been done better, and done many times. Advertising it as "from the co-producer of A Nightmare On Elm Street" sounds a bit desperate. It also suffers from that particularly jittery editing technique which leaves you wondering if your DVD player is on the blink. Still, it's all carried off proficiently if unspectacularly. If you're at a loose end on a wet afternoon it's a good enough time filler.

Somewhat more enjoyable is Detention Of The Dead (2012) (High Fliers, Cert 18), where the undead swarm on a high school. Its "Breakfast Club With Zombies" concept is a novel one, the cast play it with enthusiasm, there's some real belly laughs along the way and its brisk pace means it doesn't outstay its welcome. This would make a good starter if you're planning a double bill - just make sure you pop your brain into neutral beforehand.

The Hospital (2013) (Point Blank, Cert 18) recently caused a bit of a stir in the UK when complaints from customers caused national retailer Tesco to remove it from their shelves. Yes, it's a very grim tale of snuff movies being made at an abandoned hospital, but it truly never ceases to amaze me when people buy films which clearly contain words like "bloody", "violent", "sickest film", etc on the cover, only to express disgust when they actually watch the damn thing. Still, don't think I'm defending this exploitative piece of tripe or be tempted to think the fuss is any reason to buy it - my own theory is that most customers probably returned their copies because it's a cheek expecting anybody to pay good money for such poorly made rubbish. I suspect any remaining copies of this dreadful farrago went to the nearest landfill site. If not, they really should.

Not faring much better is The Cabin At Sorrow Creek (2007) (New Horizons, Cert 15). Aiming to tell the story of four friends stranded at a remote and haunted location, it doesn't make too much sense and defies logic at every turn. It's the kind of film which looks like a bunch of people went out with a camcorder and made a horror movie for fun. If they showed it to a bunch of friends, they would probably say "hey, that's pretty good considering". They wouldn't say "hey, that's so good you ought to find yourself a distributor and get it commercially released!" Unfortunately, it appears that someone did. 

MOVIE: The Last House (aka House Of Last Things) (2013)

US 2013, 110m, Cloud Cover Films

DVD: Signature Entertainment (UK), Cert 15

A classical music critic and his wife (played by Randy Schulman and Diane Dalton) take a holiday in Italy, possibly in an attempt to heal the wounds left by a personal tragedy. In the meantime, they leave their home in the hands of housesitter Kelly (Lindsey Haun), whose boyfriend Jesse (Blake Berris) and brother Tim (RJ Mitte) soon join her. As the European vacation hits a downward spiral, strange things are happening back at the house, especially after Jesse encounters a young boy at the local shopping mall, and brings him home...


First things first - the artwork and the title change for the UK market feel slightly misleading, although I can understand it if Signature, the distributor of such titles as Osombie and Ghost Shark were unsure of how to sell this particular item. It's far from your typical horror flick, an almost existentialist piece in fact. If you're after a dice-and-slice or more tangible chills, you really should avoid this one like the plague. However, if you fancy immersing yourself in something decidedly more abstract (dare I say, artful?), you may find this a refreshing change.

RJ Mitte (Breaking Bad) gets top billing on the cover, but the main focus is arguably True Blood's Lindsey Haun, giving an impressive lead turn as the house sitter who has more of a connection with the place than we are first led to believe. As changes come in both Kelly and Jesse's entire personalities (and Tim struggles to comprehend them), it's difficult to decide whether they are experiencing their own redemption, the righting of another wrong or something else entirely. It's this very ambiguity which is making me want to give the film a second look and explore all its nooks and crannies, of which there are many.

The parallel tale of the increasingly estranged couple abroad provides a compelling counterpoint to the events back home. Diane Dalton depicts quite unnervingly the sense of a woman in emotional meltdown.

Then there's striking use of colour, particularly yellows and reds. The former manifests particularly in the regular appearance of balloons around the house and some deftly placed Deutsche Grammophon CD's and records (a great visual reference for music collectors), whilst the latter is especially noticable in some unfeasibly lush apples which grow in the garden. It's all beautifully shot by Ken Kelsch.

House Of Last Things (to give it its proper title) is a real love-it-or-hate-it affair, the kind of film where your reaction will depend in large part on what you bring to the table. Try to imagine a restrained Brian De Palma making an adaptation of Alan Garner's The Owl Service, perhaps with a dash of Don't Look Now, an edge of surrealism and a storming classical soundtrack. That might give you a very rough idea of what to expect, but even then it doesn't come near to describing this movie. Sure, it isn't perfect, it's possibly a tad overlong, but it's never anything less than intriguing. Don't be surprised to see this on my end-of-year list of favourites.

Besides, any film which makes such excellent use of Beethoven's 7th Symphony is fine by me. Any chance of a Blu-Ray version?

(N.B. Director Michael Bartlett is apparently a former member of both the Berlin Radio Symphony Orchestra and the Berlin Philharmonic, and worked under both Vladimir Ashkenazy and Herbert Von Karajan. That certainly figures.)



Original Trailer:

MOVIE: House Of Good And Evil (2013)

US 2012, 104m, Horrorshow/Shooting Creek Films

DVD: Safecracker Pictures (UK), Cert 18

Maggie (Rachel Marie Lewis) and Chris (Christian Oliver) are a young couple who leave their home in the city following a personal tragedy. Seeking to give their marriage a fresh start, they move into an isolated house in the country. However, the seemingly idyllic surroundings start to put Maggie's nerves on edge. When Chris leaves for several days as part of his new job, it only makes matters worse, particularly when Maggie keeps hearing the ringing of a telephone, despite there being no landline installed...

David Mun's directorial debut got some great responses at the London International Film Festival in October 2013, so I'm pleased to see it finally arrive on DVD in the UK. I'm also happy to say it didn't disappoint, although I will confess it was considerably different from what I was expecting from the trailer.

Blu de Golyer's screenplay focuses very much on the impact that isolation can have on the human psyche, and the monotony of Maggie's situation gets almost as uncomfortable for the viewer as it does for her. When she actually makes contact with her only neighbours, it comes as quite a relief although, without giving too much away, things aren't quite as straightforward as they might seem.

House Of Good And Evil won't be to everyone's taste - anyone looking for a shock-a-thon will be disappointed by the restrained and subtle approach, as well as the very gradual build-up towards the climax. The nearest comparison I can immediately think of, in both pacing and setting, is Dan Curtis' Burnt Offerings (1976) - I did at one point think this tale was going to take a similar route, before the denouement wrong footed me.

If you allow yourself to be drawn into the film's enclosed universe there is much to gently chill the spine, and the tension almost creeps up on you unawares. The solid central performance from Rachel Marie Lewis really helps to make it work. This is a pleasing debut from David Mun, who will be worth watching.



NOTE: You can read my October 2013 Q&A with David Mun here.


Original Trailer:

MOVIE: Carrie (2013)

US 2013, 100m, MGM/Screen Gems

Blu-Ray: MGM (UK), cert 15

Carrie (Chloë Grace Moretz), a teenage girl with a repressed religious upbringing, is taunted daily by her school classmates. When she is invited to the prom, she initially thinks it's a joke at her expense before accepting the invite, against the wishes of her zealot mother (Julianne Moore). In the meantime, Carrie has discovered that she has the gift of telekinesis, and can cause all manner of mayhem when she is agitated or confronted...


Okay, chances are you don't need the brief synopsis above. Even if you haven't read Stephen King's novel or seen any of its screen manifestations, Carrie is a story you must at least have heard of, the tale of a tormented girl's revenge having entered popular culture. Much of this is due to Brian De Palma's classic 1976 film, in which his particular brand of cinematic pyrotechnics found a perfect showcase.

An ill advised sequel of sorts came in 1999. The Rage: Carrie 2 was perhaps more remake than sequel in retrospect, but entertaining enough on its own merits. There was a curious attempt to make a TV series out of the subject matter in 2002, with Angela Bettis in the lead, but it never progressed beyond an uneven but intriguing pilot movie.

Fast forward to 2013, and a recently rejuvenated MGM rifled through their United Artists catalogue for suitable remake fodder, making the kind of choice which had horror purists trembling with sheer indignation. After all, out of all the films they could have chosen, why pick on such an apparently unbeatable classic?

The thing is, if you put all thoughts of DePalma's film out of your mind, this adaptation does have a lot going for it. Firstly, I cannot stress enough how good Moretz and Moore are in the lead roles. Sissy Specek and Piper Laurie are a very tough (indeed, Oscar nominated) act to follow, but both performers impress. The two play off each other extremely well in their more intimate duologue scenes, well handled by director Kimberley Pierce, who has directed surprisingly little on screen since making a big splash with 1999's Boys Don't Cry.

This all makes the contrast with the bombastic, climactic scenes all the more disappointing, and it almost feels like another director took over at times. The CGI simply fails to impress or engage as Carrie wreaks havoc. Important, pivotal effects don't have the wow-factor that they should. Say what you like about the snaking hose pipe in DePalma's film, but it did its job far better than its digital counterpart.

Perhaps the film's biggest problem is that it falls between two stalls, trying to cater for a new audience whilst providing fans of the original with something to enjoy. It leans heavily on Lawrence D. Cohen's original screenplay to the extent that entire sections of dialogue are used verbatim. Whole chunks of DePalma's film are slavishly xeroxed, albeit with updated elements such as Carrie's taunting being captured on a phone camera and posted on the internet, and yet, when the movie does attempt to do something different, it often goes way off the mark.

The two endings provided on the Blu-Ray are a case in point. The theatrical ending tried to leave the audience anticipating what would happen next, but was a tad unsatisfactory. The blurb on the sleeve promises "The ending that was too extreme for cinema!", so extreme that... it still gets a 15 certificate. This alternative ending is a ridiculous attempt to top the original's final shot. Woefully misjudged, it should have stayed in the editing suite.

Despite all this, whilst the Carrie re-boot is unlikely to become a bona fide classic like its predecessor, it still has much to enjoy. When you consider how many truly awful Stephen King adaptations there have been, this one fares far better than many and is well worth your time. If it makes a new generation curious enough to read the original novel (still one of King's best in my view), and even perhaps seek out the '76 version, all the better. As it stands, the 2013 model is an enjoyable enough high-school-revenge flick in its own right, raised above the average by two superb lead performances.



Original Theatrical Trailer:

MOVIE: Bloody Homecoming (2013)

Bloody Homecoming

US 2013, 85m, DAVED Productions

DVD: Image Entertainment (UK), Cert 15

A high school accident on Homecoming Night leaves a student dead. Three years later, the students who inadvertently left him in a burning store room find themselves being stalked and slashed...


Yes, all the slasher ingredients are here: The mix of student types (geek, cheerleader, jock, etc), the slightly creepy janitor (played by brit-comedian Jim Tavare) who may or may not be a red herring, a masked stalker, the ineffective head principal, a character who twists her ankle as she tries to escape... You name it, just about every item from the stalk-and-slash ticklist is used. Cliches? Perhaps, but somehow it all works in the movie's favour. Guessing which stock device will crop up next makes the experience all the more enjoyable.

Whilst Bloody Homecoming doesn't bring much new to the table (with the exception of some creative use of a tiara), it's generally well executed and fun, feeling like a film which has been made by slasher fans for slasher fans. If you find yourself in need of some undemanding entertainment, it's well worth a rental.




Original Theatrical Trailer:

SINGLE: Silver Trees - Karma Drama (demo) (2013)

Soundcloud Stream (no physical release at time of writing)

Everywhere I look at the moment, Psychedelia seems to be in the air, at least musically speaking. As someone whose record collection has a distinctly psych-bias to it, I'm certainly not complaining, and this piece is the ideal soundtrack for a hazy/sunny afternoon like today.

Silver Trees hail from the Billingham/Hartlepool region of north-east England, and were apparently described by one fan post-gig as "like a hybrid of The Stone Roses and Pink Floyd, but like absolutely off it", which gives you as good a reference point as any for starters. Think I might have to check this bunch out live if they're down my way - the advance word is good.




You can find out more at Silver Trees' Facebook Page.

SINGLE: Dark Bells - Wildflower (2013)

UK: Tape Club Records TCRSS002 (May 2013)

We caught Dark Bells live last night, supporting Temples at Bournemouth's Old Firestation, and those who arrived early were treated to some very psych tinged but also dark and heavy sounds. Their Twitter info describes them as having "the atmosphere of an act you might have found on 4AD in 1983", and they may well have fitted quite snugly on that label's roster of the time as there are echoes of Bauhaus and Cocteau Twins in the mix. Don't mistake them for a nostalgia outfit, though - there's something very fresh in the blend too.

Spotting singer/guitarist Teneil Throssell at the merchandise stall, I enquired whether Dark Bells have a CD out. The answer was something even better: this lovely piece of vinyl (coupling Wildflower with Run For Daze), which Teneil kindly signed for us. I can't resist a 7-inch single, especially one with eye-boggling artwork. A download code is also included, thus saving me the bother of plugging my turntable into the PC.

There's only a limited run of 300, so get your skates on...

You can get more info over at TapeClubRecords.com. The band's own site is at darkbells.co.uk, and the single is also available as a download at iTunes.

By the way, our copy accidentally came with two inserts, so if you're the unlucky owner of a copy missing the insert and download code, drop me a line and I'll be happy to send it on to you.

MOVIE: Pacific Rim (2013)

Pacific Rim

US 2013, 211m, Warner Bros./Legendary

Blu-Ray: Warner (UK), Cert 12

The human race's deadliest threat has not come from the skies, but from deep below the sea. As these monstrous creatures carry out a prolonged series of attacks on cities around the world, a retired pilot and a rookie, in charge of an obsolete fighting machine, may be the world's last hope...

Okay, cards on the table. I don't generally do summer blockbusters. I am, however a fan and admirer of Guillermo Del Toro, so I was somewhat intrigued to see what he would deliver in this massively budgeted major studio outing.

On the one hand, it's a disappointment that Del Toro, in my opinion one of the most original filmmakers of his generation, has come up with a movie which adheres so closely (indeed, slavishly so) to a well-trodden template, right down to the same stock characters and situations that populate your average Michael Bay flick. The "comedy relief" scientists in particular were getting on my nerves after a few minutes.

On the other hand, this could be taken as Del Toro's personal love letter to the monster movies he grew up with and evidently loves. The film is dedicated to effects legend Ray Harryhausen and Ishirô Honda (the "Father of Godzilla"), which gives a clear statement of intent as to what the director was aiming to emulate. Sadly, like all too many CGI fests, Pacific Rim's massive array of visual pyrotechnics is sorely lacking that human touch which made those masters' works so endearing. 

If taken purely on its own terms, Pacific Rim is enjoyable enough in places, but way too long for its own good. After all, your average Godzilla flick did all this and more, usually inside 90 minutes...



Original Theatrical Trailer:

MOVIE: Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (2013)

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa

UK 2013. 90m, StudioCanal/BBC/BFI/Baby Cow

Blu-Ray: StudioCanal (UK)

When a disgruntled former employee of a local radio station holds his erstwhile colleages hostage at gunpoint, an inept presenter named Alan Partridge (Steve Coogan) finds himself chosen as the unlikely negotiator...

It's been quite a trip for the comedy creation that is the superficial and self-loving media figure Alan Partridge. Created by Coogan and Armando Iannucci for spoof Radio 4 show On The Hour, he moved to TV in BBC2's The Day Today, before his own chat show Knowing Me Knowing You. Then his downfall was chronicled in I'm Alan Partridge, where we found him sacked by the BBC and exiled in the East of England, hosting the early show on Radio Norfolk.

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa picks up the story several years later, as North Norfolk Digital (as the station is now known) is taken over by a big media group and rebranded as Shape to appeal to a fresh audience. Sensing the axe about to swing, Alan saves his own skin by somehow convincing the bosses to fire evening host Pat Farrell (Colm Meaney), who doesn't take the news too well...

The transfer to the big screen is, for the most part an enjoyably smooth one. The situations have enough cinematic scope to justify the transition, and yet feel like a natural extension of their origins. The mistake many big screen versions of TV favourites have made over the years is taking characters we have grown to enjoy watching, then shoehorning them into scenarios which bare little or no relation to the source material (Sex & The City 2, anyone?). I'm pleased to say that Partridge's cinematic debut avoids such pitfalls, and also has plenty to enjoy for those unfamiliar with the character. It's certainly one of the funniest Brit-comedies in some time.

On top of all this, there are plenty of well aimed pot-shots at the inanity and homogenisation of local commercial radio in Britain, where conglomerates owning multiple stations churn out the same pre-selected predictable playlist from Perth to Penzance, and the chat and phone-ins deal with the most mind-numbingly trivial bunk (see my previous moan on the subject here).

Don't believe me? Next time you're setting your radio alarm, tune it to your local commercial station. You'll see I'm right... Such stations across the UK (with a few notable exceptions) are full of duplicates of the Shape staffers. With Alan Partridge, Coogan and Iannucci just might have inadvertently chronicled the changes for the worst in the UK media since broadcasting was deregulated.

Or maybe that was what they intended all along?





Original Theatrical Trailer:

MOVIE: Only God Forgives (2013)

Only God Forgives

Den/Fra/Thai/US/Swe 2013, 90m, Bold Film/Gaumont/Wild Bunch

Blu-Ray: Lionsgate (UK), Cert 18

A drug-smuggler in Bangkok finds his life disrupted when his mother arrives in town, urging him to find and kill the person or persons responsible for his brother's brutal death. An escalating chain of increasingly violent tit-for-tat revenge ensues...

The star and director of Drive are reunited, but anyone expecting more of the same might find themselves disappointed, or at the very least speechless. Where its predecessor looked for the good in a bad world, and even had something of a sentimental streak, Only God Forgives is unremittingly bleak in its world view, at least as far as its characters are concerned, and yet on a visual level there is just as much beauty to behold (in some stunning cinematography) as there is graphic violence. There is a very David Lynch-ian air to several surreal karaoke club-set sequences, whilst there is also very much a twisted morality at work as several wrongs clearly fail to come close to making any kind of right.

This is a film which will divide opinion cleanly between like or hate factions. I don't think I liked any of the characters one jot, and yet found myself liking and admiring the movie a great deal. I don't imagine it's one I will want to watch again and again on a regular basis, but I do see myself coming back to it one day, when the time feels right. It's that kind of film, and it leaves that kind of impression. It's certainly well worth 90 minutes of your time.

SINGLE: TOY - Endlessly (2013)

UK: Heavenly HVN272 (digital download)

This has been getting played a lot on the Purple Patch stereo lately, providing a welcome antidote to the miserable January mornings.

Toy have been together since 2010, and hail from Brighton. Join The Dots is their second album, and that's where you'll find Endlessly. It's uplifting stuff, a slightly psychedelic, melodic wall-of-noise, kinda like The Jesus And Mary Chain singing with Doves, a combo which suits me nicely. Play it loud.

More info at http://toy-band.com/, and you can download Endlessly from iTunes.

FEATURE: Cinema Surgery - Bournemouth, Jan 19th 2013

CINEMA SURGERY
The Winchester, Bournemouth
January 19th 2014

A new horror-fan event comes to Bournemouth, and with perfect timing too, for January is my least favourite month of the year and Cinema Surgery is just the thing to brighten it up. The Winchester is the venue, sitting just above The Triangle on Poole Hill, and having carved a reputation as a home for arts and music events of all varieties. This particular event is the brainchild of Gary Baxter (who extends a warm greeting as we enter), and we arrive early to ensure we get two of the limited tickets which will ensure entry to the film screening that evening (more on that later).

Passing Freddy Krueger and Leatherface (or excellent facsimiles thereof), we head off to the rear stalls as our first stop is to purchase the latest issue of Space Monsters Magazine and meet its editor, Richard Gladman (aka Cyberschizoid), who has made the trek over from Brighton for the day. His enthusiasm for his subject is immediately apparent, and our chat takes in The Blob, Space 1999 and much more. The mag is a very enjoyable, A5-sized affair and issue number three takes in Hammer's Sci-Fi and Monster output, as well as the first part of an examination of Frankenstein on film. I'm looking forward to future issues already - it's a quality publication which feels like real love and care has gone into it. Besides, any mag which argues the merits of 1977's Empire Of The Ants is okay by me.

You can order Space Monsters Magazine by clicking the image, or clicking here.

Things are just starting to warm up, and today's special guests are just arriving. We pass Emily Booth, who is applying some last-minute lippy before meeting the fans. Sadly, we don't get a chance to talk to her, but I can't help noticing how fondly people are speaking about her. She genuinely seems to love the genre she works in, and has won over a lot of her critics through sheer hard work.

Meanwhile, with preparations going on, we decide to head into town for a spot of lunch and a trip down the seafront before heading back once things are in full swing...

On our return, we meet David J Smith, who has a very eye-catching display of comics from Things From Dimension-X, as well as copies of his novel, The Titanic's Mummy, in which the titular creature is loose aboard the ill-fated liner. I have to ask, where did this idea come from? There is an urban myth which suggests that a mummy was being transported on the ill-fated ship (you can read more via this link to The Museum Of Unnatural History). David tells me he combined this with the real-life events and came up with this intriguing premise, and adds that although his story is naturally fictional, he wanted to make the details around the sinking of the ship and events on board as factually accurate as possible (Hollywood, take note). Of particular interest is a coal bunker fire which may well have been raging already as the ship left Belfast. He's certainly grabbed our attention, and we purchase a copy - expect a review here in due course.

A digital/kindle edition of The Titanic's Mummy is available by clicking here.

The paperback edition is available by clicking the image above, or clicking here.

Ninth Circle have a nice range of graphic novels today, along with a V For Vendetta inspired mask which takes my wife's fancy. We have an interesting talk with the gentleman at the stall (I'm really sorry I didn't get your name!) on his passion for Batman, and he mentions something which is obvious in hindsight but I hadn't really thought about before, which is that Batman is quite different to most comic heroes in that he isn't imbued with extraordinary powers, but is just an ordinary guy who does extraordinary things in his battle against crime. I have to admit I haven't had much to do with the caped crusader in some time, but I do feel inspired to re-investigate. That's one of the things I love about events like this - a chance encounter with someone can spark off an interest in checking out something new or re-evaluating something dormant from your cultural past.

 

You can visit Ninth Circle's Facebook page here.

Another stall that catches my eye is laden with early 80's VHS tapes, the kind that came in big chunky padded cases, and there's a particularly healthy selection of early Warner Home Video titles. For a brief moment I'm back to being a kid, looking around Hindmarch's in Hedge End, gazing wide-eyed at the array of pre-cert titles on offer, in the days before we had a video recorder of our own. A very nice copy of 1978's Invasion Of The Body Snatchers is crying out for me to take it home, along with Friday The 13th, Dracula A.D. 1972 and The Satanic Rites Of Dracula. These would look very nice nestling alongside my vintage Ferguson Videostar, but my sensible side reminds me that I have too many collecting passions on the go already (not to mention a rapidly depleting bank balance), and I reluctantly drag myself away.

Let's see what you could have won...

Speaking of Dracula A.D. 1972, the lady about to be bitten on the artwork above is also one of the day's special guests, Caroline Munro. She holds the distinction of having worked with Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Vincent Price, not to mention visual effects legend Ray Harryhausen, and her horror credits provide an interesting bridge between the golden era of Brit-Horror and the slasher cycle of the 1980's. She's been a Bond-girl too, of course, alongside Roger Moore in The Spy Who Loved Me. All in all, it's not a bad list of jobs to have on your CV.

Tonight, she's presenting her latest appearance in horror-short The Landlady, in which she gets to play the baddie, and very effective she is too. Just as it's due to start, a chill wind blows in through the front door, and Caroline leans over and asks my wife and I if we're warm enough. You don't get that kind of experience at the Empire Leicester Square, I'll wager.

A Q&A session is great fun, with Caroline and Count Karnstein himself, Damien Thomas sharing some great stories and insights. It's quite intriguing that, unbeknownst to him at the time, Damien was actually being considered by Hammer as a replacement Dracula for Christopher Lee. He also regales us with the tale of how he broke one of his false fangs on Luan Peters' cleavage whilst making Twins Of Evil. I don't think I'll ever be able to watch that film in quite the same way... I'll not share any other tales or anecdotes from the session as I'm sure they sound much better from the actors' own mouths, but suffice to say there were laughs and interesting tales in equal measure.

A screening of Caroline's 80's slasher flick Slaughter High brings things to a close, and all told this was more than worth the £5 entry fee. For a new event making its debut in mid-January, it's certainly made an encouraging start. Catching organiser Gary Baxter later on, I have to say he's pulled a blinder today, and ask if there's any further events planned. He says hopefully something in April - let's keep those fingers crossed, as it's been a great day. Besides, I didn't get a chance to catch up with some of the other vendors, artists, authors, et cetera, this time around - maybe next time? I might catch up with Freddy and Leatherface too...


Keep track of future Cinema Surgery news at the Facebook pages here, and also here.

Get more news on where Caroline will be appearing in the future at http://www.carolinemunro.org/

Find out what Emily's up to next at http://www.emilybooth.co.uk/

You can also follow these links for IMDb entries for Damien Thomas, Caroline Munro and Emily Booth.

MOVIE: Curse Of Chucky (2013)

Curse Of Chucky

US 2013, 96m, Universal

Blu-Ray: Universal (UK), Cert 18

When wheelchair-bound Nica takes delivery of a parcel containing a toy doll from the 1980's, people start to die violent deaths. When several family members and a priest come to stay for a funeral, the body count grows. The doll happens to be called Chucky, but why was he sent to this family in particular?

So, in his sixth screen outing, does Chucky have anything new to bring to the table? The answer, thankfully, is a resounding YES! Following the somewhat silly (but admittedly enjoyable) Seed Of Chucky, series writer Don Mancini once again takes the directorial reins, but this time around returns to the darker feel of 1988's Child's Play and its immediate sequel. Sure, Chucky still has an arsenal of one-liners at his disposal, but there is a real feeling that the series has returned to its roots.

Curse Of Chucky also marks something of a departure, as most of the film takes place in one setting, namely the claustrophic environment of a suitably creepy looking house. The result is a pleasing variation on the murders-in-a-mansion-house theme, with strong set pieces and well-paced tension, the dark humour blending well with some real edge-of-the-seat action. There's some superb camera work too, some unusual angles and devices adding extra weight - I especially enjoyed the rotating aerial shot during a dinner sequence, as the viewer is left pondering which of the guests may or may not have been fed a dose of rat poison...

Brad Dourif returns to give Chucky his voice, whilst daughter Fiona plays the lead role of Nica. It's one of several nice touches which acknowledge the series' history - the movie's coda and post-credits scene will please those who have followed the series from day one. However, Curse Of Chucky is no mere exercise in nostalgia. It's arguably a fresh beginning. 25 years after his debut, Chucky looks in fine fettle to enter his next quarter-century. Who'd have believed it?



Original Theatrical Trailer:

MOVIE: Witchfinder (2013)

Witchfinder

US 2013, 20m, Daredevil Films

Available to watch online at http://popcornhorror.com/films/witchfinder-3/

When a village community enlists a Witchfinder to rid them of a suspected witch, they might have stirred up more than they suspected...

With nods not only to Witchfinder General (1968), but also The Mask Of Satan (1960), Witchfinder is a very pleasing live-action debut for director Colin Clarke, following two animated shorts.

It's a fairly simple tale of witchery and revenge, but perfectly suited to the slim running time. The film's real trump card is an engaging visual design - heavy on autumnal reds, yellows and browns, it strikingly utilises the woodland setting and claustrophobic interiors.

As The Witch, Valerie Meachum is suitably menacing, particularly at the film's climax.

Is this a taster for a more fully fledged project? Let's hope so, as on this evidence Clarke has a great flair for capturing barren landscapes and locations, which is screaming out for a wider canvas. Well worth a look.



You can watch Witchfinder in full, for free at:

http://popcornhorror.com/films/witchfinder-3/.  

Meanwhile, here's a short taster...

MOVIE: Sharknado (2013)

No sooner had I finished writing a review of Ghost Shark than this arrived in the post - is my online rental supplier trying to mess with my head or something?

Sharknado

US 2013, 87m, SyFy

Blu-Ray: StudioCanal (UK) - Cert 15

As a freak hurricane hits Los Angeles, sharks attack the flooded mainland. When not one but three tornadoes follows, and the mammals are swept up in it, nobody is safe...

In the late 1970's, the Ideal Toy Company released a game to tie in with the mega-hit Jaws. An enjoyable variant on the same stable's Buck-A-Roo, it involved the player trying to extract items from the mouth of a plastic shark without setting off a trigger which would cause its teeth to suddenly snap shut. I mention this here because the unconvincingly CGI-rendered creatures of Sharknado reminded me of this toy. Allow me to illustrate...

You get the idea, and there's plenty more dodgy CGI where that came from. A "wave" which is meant to be hitting the end of a pier looks like a pebble was dropped in a sink then overlaid. Sequences set on a beach look like two different top and bottom images were joined together with no attempt to make them match. As our heroes attempt to diffuse the tornadoes with homemade devices from a helicopter (as you do), cars can be seen driving along, unhindered in the background. There's more, but this sufficiently describes the ineptitude of the not-so-special effects. Throw in the manner in which the landscape abruptly switches from flooded to sun-baked, and you do wonder how much effort was going into all of this.

This could be forgivable to an extent if it was entertaining, but Sharknado is totally lacking in any kind of drive or suspense. Unlike the same channel's Ghost Shark, which at least kept things moving briskly, this just plods along as a series of tiresome episodes. A rescue scene where our leading man retrieves a group of children from a school bus starts with one kid being hauled to safety, before abruptly cutting to all of them happily grouped on a bridge...  Now look, I hate to sound picky here, but wouldn't you expect at least one of them to get involved in a life-or-death struggle with one of these mammals to generate at least some excitement?

The rest of the film suffers from the same general malaise. Potentially good set-pieces are rendered in such a workmanlike fashion that they feel ultimately pointless. It's as though director Anthony C. Ferrante is busy doing other things, like writing his shopping list, whilst shooting. Admittedly, several of the increasingly daft shark attacks are laughably entertaining in themselves, but they fail to redeem a pretty boring exercise overall. It truly boggles the mind how anyone could make such a ridiculous premise into such a dull film, and that's precisely what keeps it out of "so-bad-it's-good" territory.

Sharknado is also a contender for the weediest surround-sound mix of any release this year - what should surely be loud explosions and crashes often come out muted and muffled. You'll get more sonic thrills from a Daniel O'Donnell album.

If the internet hoo-ha is anything to go by, it would appear that the makers of Sharknado may have intended the whole thing as a joke. It's all well and good getting half of Hollywood on board to play along on various TV appearances, but it might have helped if the joke was actually funny to begin with.



Original Trailer: